Regular readers of the audience engagement blog recognize that we often provide commentary about effective communication with members via email and weekly newsletters. Many loyalty administrators tend to take it for granted, and over time, less emphasis is spent on creating compelling content in the emails.
Perhaps more importantly, creative subject lines are often neglected. Think of the subject line as the author of a book would consider the book title. A compelling title is designed to get the prospective reader into the jacket to get more information about the book, which in turn is designed to motivate the reader to purchase.
In the past few days, here are examples of both good and bad loyalty newsletter topics I have received, with some commentary to help you recognize how to improve your email open rates. Don’t worry: client identity is protected! :
First, some examples that can use some attention:
1) You are invited to the (car dealer) spring event. Why would I want to be invited to a car dealer event? Isn’t everyone? This doesn’t make me feel special, nor is it the reason I have a relationship with your brand
2) This Week’s Quest. Generic titles rarely get enough attention to take the reader deeper into engagement. Often, we assume the member/reader understand more about our standard features offered than they actually do. Taking a few minutes to tease the reader about the specific quest (a chance to win $1,000 at a client location) would generate a better response.
3) Still Lots of Cash Left In The Bag. What bag? What cash? How much cash? Who can win? Who qualifies? There’s nothing in this subject line that suggests it has anything to do with the reader.
4) Register to Win a 19″ LCD TV. This is good in that it’s a specific offer and not general. However, an invitation to “register to win” is not nearly as enticing as an invitation to members that “19″ LCD TV available NOW”. Much of recruiting response is dropping a bread crumb that lures the respondent deeper into the relationship.
5) Free Stuff and Other Benefits. Here’s an example of a subject written by someone who has too many items on their “to-do” list and not nearly enough time to do it…I hope. Otherwise, it’s written by someone who doesn’t care or doesn’t understand how to write copy.
6) Last Chance. See commentary in #5 above
7) This is Your Weekly e-dose of (station). Written from the viewpoint of the sender, not the recipient.
(Club name) Newsletter for (date) Who cares? The content in the newsletter is quite good, calling attention to an on-air cash promotion that includes a strong member benefit.
9) XOXO. Similar: (station) 032510. No way to know what this is about, or who it’s targeted to…or why I should open it. In the second example, it took me awhile to figure out that the number is the date the newsletter was sent…which also is meaningless to the reader.
10) Thank You From (Advertiser) This thank you came to me from a radio station 2,000 miles away…and I didn’t participate in the event. They sent me a thank you that pretended to be personalized, but in fact had no relevance to me. Also, I don’t have a relationship with the advertiser…I have it with YOU.
11) We Have A $1,000 Winner. Similar: Become a fan of (morning show) on Facebook. This breaks a cardinal rule of being the source of “where you get” rather than the source “that gives you”. Make it all about the member experience. Also, a subject line written this way makes it seem like $1,000 winners are rare. A better headline would be “Meet The Most Recent (club) $1,000 Winner”. The Facebook headline offers benefits for the station (adds more fans) but suggests nothing to benefit the member.
12) Newsletter. Similar: Update. Only marginally better: A Newsletter Update. Just as weak: Extra Reward. Yes, all three of these subject lines arrived this week. Wow. A newsletter. An update. The 150th that showed up in my email box this week.
Good Examples
1) WIn a Trip to San Francisco. Short, to the point and it leads me into participating in the content in the newsletter.
2) See George Jones at (city). Focused on a specific offer that will appeal to George Jones fans. This will be even more effective if it’s targeted to members who have indicated they like George.
3) Win $2,500. This is good, but could be better by including more of the offer in the subject line. The text goes on to explain that the $2,500 is in the form of a “Tax Day Pay Day”, which is topical as April 15 approaches.
4) You could be $10,000 Richer with the (station) Big Bag of Cash. Excellent. Relevant to the reader, identifies the station and calls attention to a promotion that lures the reader deeper into the content.
5) (Morning Show) Talk to Lady Antebellum Tomorrow Morning. This would have improved only by inviting the reader to participate in the content by submitting a question to ask the band, which they DID offer in the text of the newsletter…but would have been more personal and inviting to include that offer in the subject line, such as “Ask Lady Antebellum Anything You Want Tomorrow Morning With (talent)”
6) Join (personality’s) Mission to Meet Oprah. This piques the reader’s interest, because of the popularity of Oprah, and invites the reader to be involved.
7) Wanna Meet John Mayer? Short, simple, and elicits a positive response…”Yes, I want to meet John Mayer”
Play (station) FantasyPalooza To Win Eagles Tickets. An authentic and genuine offer expressed simply, directly and with some personality.
9) Bunnies, Eggs and Recipes (And you don’t have to use the bunnies in the recipes). This is cute, funny, relevant (Easter) and useful (recipes).
10) Carrie Underwood’s Amazing Concert. Core artist for country radio, this subject line lured me into the newsletter content, which provided a short review and critique with photos. We often forget to take credit for promotions that have ended, but the audience is still talking about it.
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